i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
