it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
