finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
