goodnight i made you a song goodbye
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
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I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
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You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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