exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
