did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
True strength comes from lack of pants
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