he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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