I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
