So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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