I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
