I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
