Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Randomize
