I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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