I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize