Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
