That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
