i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
