you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
this is an emotional support booty call
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize