My brain says no but my pants say off.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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