Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
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It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
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I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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