are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
