A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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