Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
