bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
