question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
His nipple licking is glorious
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