if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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