yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
