Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
