is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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