Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
