I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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