Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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