ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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