I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
