You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize