you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
