Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.

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(716): View more from New York

do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!

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Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Read it at the TFLN blog
(404): View more from Georgia

Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...

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(407): View more from Florida

It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.

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(314): View more from Missouri

There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."

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(309): View more from Illinois

That is romantic

(1-309): View more from Illinois

Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care

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(732): View more from New Jersey

He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.

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