Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues? http://tfl.nu/kfs7
  Replies (16) Good night (1282) Bad night (3484)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar http://tfl.nu/y62m
  Replies (10) Good night (4859) Bad night (713)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though http://tfl.nu/7ly3
  Replies (19) Good night (6098) Bad night (1126)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that. http://tfl.nu/4x8y
  Replies (15) Good night (4176) Bad night (850)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (902): I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night. http://tfl.nu/vppz
  Replies (13) Good night (5974) Bad night (1061)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out. http://tfl.nu/oiev
  Replies (5) Good night (2939) Bad night (1290)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them http://tfl.nu/szer
  Replies (14) Good night (2499) Bad night (6495)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  we turned his baptism video into a drinking game

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): we turned his baptism video into a drinking game http://tfl.nu/gtee
  Replies (18) Good night (4510) Bad night (1339)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower. http://tfl.nu/95p5
  Replies (8) Good night (3268) Bad night (1195)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin... http://tfl.nu/5fas
  Replies (29) Good night (3060) Bad night (882)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (469): I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years. http://tfl.nu/9l4v
  Replies (5) Good night (833) Bad night (568)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me http://tfl.nu/j08w
  Replies (5) Good night (681) Bad night (1226)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad http://tfl.nu/w994
  Replies (1) Good night (559) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest. http://tfl.nu/2kj8
  Replies (4) Good night (1077) Bad night (301)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering http://tfl.nu/kjma
  Replies (0) Good night (362) Bad night (270)

Randomize