my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
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You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
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Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana