maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
