I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
