I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
