Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize