i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize