So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I will be naked everywhere
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
