In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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