Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
