apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
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