You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Just high enough for therapy.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Randomize
