My friends, they love my intelligence
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I've blown a few things in my day
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
