yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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