Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
