I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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