How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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