I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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