I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize